Down With the Sickness
by Vinniey
Summary: Jason-based / A distorted reality is conniving, driving even the sanest of people off into the deep end. The further time goes on, the worse the reality becomes... and then it is permanently there, like an invisible and invincible parasite feeding on the life of its host.
1. Schizophrenia

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own DC Comics or anything associated with the company. I only own my writing and original ideas. No copyright infringement intended._

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**_Author's Note: _**_Okay, so this fic is a bit… weird. I kinda wrote it with a mix of a light and heavy heart (if that even makes any sense). Anyways, this song was inspired by "Illuminated" by Hurts. It's an amazingly beautiful song that so heavily influenced this fic. Listening to it while reading this will only enhance your reading experience. :] Buuuuut, you don't have to. Is it extremely advised, though? Heck yeah! XD_

_-_ Kay

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**Schizophrenia:** _a mental disorder characterized by a breakdown of thought processes and by poor emotional responsiveness. It most commonly features Auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking._

* * *

**Down with the Sickness**_  
Chapter 1: Schizophrenia_  
((Started: September 25th/Finished: September 27th))

The small, glowing orb of light flickered on and off as it traveled through the darkness. The entire field was filled with the blinking lights, illuminating the soft blades of grass that swayed gracefully with the night breeze. As one of the beautiful lights drew closer, small, nimble hands reached out and entrapped the small insect. A small tickling sensation grazed the porcelain hands as the creature tried to escape, a dim light seeping through the small cracks where the two hands were conjoined. The hands were brought up to eye level as crystal blue eyes scrutinized them in the dark.

"You're going to suffocate it if you don't let it go, y'know." The statement caused a smile to form on the younger boy's face, though he didn't advert his gaze from his hands.

"It won't die," he replied, his voice as soft as a whisper. He slowly began to open his hands as light began to shine through. "It's stronger than it looks."

Slowly, the insect maneuvered its way out of its prison and flew in front of its captor's eyes. Fleeting light danced across the boy's face, revealing delicate features once shrouded by the dark of the night. Strands of silky, black hair fell from their place behind his ear, pouring over his forehead. His eyes were glistening from the the light, almost as if they were smiling. A light shade of rose covered his cheeks and nose due to the slight chill of the summer night, but it went unnoticed as the genuine smile was glued on his face. Then, the light from the insect went out, temporarily leaving the two boys in the dark. Jason felt his throat go dry as he swallowed harshly, and he adverted his gaze from his companion.

"I was just saying," he said, albeit strained. He didn't have to turn his head to know that his friend was looking at him, and that the smile was still, ever-so-painfully, present. Jason nervously cleared his throat at this.

"I know," the younger boy whispered as he inched closer to Jason. Once he was a hair away from his hip touching Jason's, he placed his hand on top of the older boy's. "Thank you." The contact resulted in Jason's eyes widening and looking at the other male.

"Tim," he started, but he was only answered with a soft smile. More fireflies had gathered around the two, illuminating Tim's flawless face.

He was beautiful.

So beautiful that it hurt.

Feeling as if his heart was breaking from the sight, Jason reached into his pocket with his free hand, his fingers grazing the cold, plastic pill bottle; however, a hand gently grabbed his wrist, stopping him from pulling out the pills. Jason stared deep into Tim's eyes as lights danced gracefully across the blue orbs.

"Please," Tim spoke. The older male's eyes softened slightly, and he soon felt the soft digits slacken their hold on his wrist. He dropped the bottle back into his pocket before he cupped Tim's cheek instead. The soft skin sent tingles through Jason's fingertips as he lightly caressed the area. Tim's eyes searched Jason's, as if looking for a sort of permission, which Jason granted when he slowly leaned closer to the other teen. Hot breath warmed Tim's lips, and he closed his eyes while basking in the sensation. He gripped the sleeve of Jason's shirt, lightly tugging on it, beckoning for the teen to close the gap between their mouths. Jason complied.

Their lips gently caressed each other, molding together perfectly. Jason lightly bit the bottom of Tim's lip, and the younger teen gave a content sigh at the sensation. He let his hand slide off of Tim's cheek as he ducked his head into the crook of the younger male's neck. Jason nuzzled the area and wrapped his arms around the lithe torso. A light grin spread across Tim's face as he returned the hug that set his skin afire. As he looked at his surroundings, his smile only grew.

The fireflies danced gracefully around them, creating an ethereal atmosphere that was so breathtakingly beautiful. There had to be hundreds of the delicate creatures as their lights flickered on and off, lighting up the entire valley. Tim wouldn't trade this moment for anything.

Some of the light from the bugs cast different shapes of light on Jason's back, and the younger boy couldn't help but trace them lightly with his fingers. This act resulted in a grunt from Jason and a silent chuckle from Tim. Jason placed a soft kiss to Tim's neck, which sent shivers down the teen's spine, before he pulled out of the hug. The older boy looked around as the insects fluttered around in the air. If anyone asked, he would deny the soft gasp that escaped his lips as his eyes stared at his surroundings.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Tim asked, pulling his knees closer to his chest as he admired the view.

_Not as beautiful as you_, Jason thought.

"Yeah," he breathed out in reply.

"It's a shame fireflies only come out at night. It's like a fleeting beauty," Tim said, resting his head on his folded arms.

_Like you_. Jason swallowed harshly, trying to push those thoughts out of his mind.

"There one minute, gone the next," the younger boy sighed.

_If only it weren't that way…_

Tim's eyes scrutinized the creatures that floated around, and after a minute silence, he sighed again.

"I wish I was a firefly. They're so beautiful and fleeting that you have to make sure that you appreciate the moment when you see them."

_But you already are, with that description. And very soon… you'll be…_

Jason subconsciously felt the bottle through his coat pocket, and a sad smile graced Tim's features. His shoulders drooped, and his hair shrouded his eyes when he ducked his head.

"I love you, Jason," he spoke in barely a whisper. His voice sounded pained and broken, like an old, porcelain doll that was neglected for a few decades. Jason's grip on his pocket tightened slightly, and his eyes saddened.

"I know, Tim." Jason let out a shaky sigh as he turned his head to the left where Tim was. His eyes met only the fireflies that provided a dim light in the darkness.

_Gone_.

Jason fondly glided his hand across the grass where Tim had been only seconds before, the coldness of the blades shattering his demeanor even more. He knew. He knew he would leave, but that didn't make it any less burdensome every time it happened.

And that fact burned fiercely within Jason's chest as he sat alone in the field filled with hundreds of the fireflies that Tim adored so much.


	2. Nightmare

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own DC Comics or anything associated with the company. I only own my writing and original ideas. No copyright infringement intended._

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**_Author's Note: _**_I don't really know what this one is either. I was soooo emo yesterday (_terribly _emo), so I did some research and came up with this little… whatever-it-is. So, for some background info, this is based off a mental illness: Nightmare Disorder.__ Also, this story was based off of the song "_SCHIZOPHRENIA" _by Kwoon. Just putting it out there ;P_

_~ Kay_

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**Nightmare Disorder: **_a sleep disorder characterized by frequent nightmares._

* * *

**Down with the Sickness**_  
Chapter 2: Nightmare_  
((Started: October 7th/Finished: October 7th))

_Blood_.

It was _everywhere_, but nowhere at the same time. The area was dark, grungy, _violent_. The trees were leafless, dead, black, and there were hundreds of them. They even appeared to notice the intruder, and they reached out their branches, trying to claw away at them. The moon was a reddish-purple color, barely illuminating the area, but succeeding in adding a daunting atmosphere. It glowed across the murky waters of the wavy pond in the center of the opening. The water was a dark red, almost black in color, which was not due to the insufficient light source. The water was actually blood; everywhere, but nowhere.

It was _scary_.

As the intruder neared the edge of the pond, he swore he could see the trees moving in closer, as if they were trying to push him into the lake. They wobbled in the distance, wavy and distorted. He neared the edge, looking down at the thick liquid that shifted eerily.

Then, he saw something move.

Furrowing his brow, he stared at the liquid, and sure enough, there was another abnormal shift. Slowly, he crept down to his knees and knelt at the edge of the pond. Then, he slowly leaned down, getting a closer look at the blood.

And then a hand grabbed him.

It had shot up from the lake, grabbing the color of his shirt. Blood seeped into the fabric, and some ran down his chest.

It was _warm_.

Fear had immediately flooded his senses, and he began to hyperventilate. And then he was dragged into the pond of blood. More hands had grabbed at him, grabbing at his legs and arms and head, pulling him further down to the bottom of the lake. Suffocating, painful, strangling, violent, choking. He wanted to scream. A hand clamped down over his mouth, refusing him even that.

Blood was everywhere, and there was no "nowhere" this time.

Red flooded his senses, and even though the fluid was warm, it sent a foreboding chill down his spine. Shock, pain, fear.

He was _scared_.

And then the hand over his mouth was removed, and he screamed.

* * *

"_No!_" Jason brusquely sat up in bed, sweating profusely and his heart trying to beat its way through his ribcage.

_**Th-thump**_. _**Th-thump**_. _**Th-thump**_.

He eyes were wide as he frantically searched the room, cringing at all of the dark shadows surrounding him. But there were no trees, no pond, no arms.

Just shadows. _Moving_ shadows.

He squeezed his eyes shut painfully and grabbed at his hair, tugging at the dark strands in a desperate manner. His breathing did not lax in any way, but instead worsened. Jason choked on his haggard breathing, and his cough racked his body. He then felt a hand on his right shoulder blade, cold and welcoming.

A _hand._

Jason jumped at the touch, whipped his head around, and moved away to the edge of the bed, out of reach. He looked over at the headboard and found Tim sitting there, his arm stretched outwards. His frantic eyes stared at the younger male, his heart refusing to relent in its attempt to break free and to flutter away. Tim frowned, his arm falling to his side.

"Jason?" he spoke tentatively. Jason did not recognize his voice. It was strange, dark, different, deformed.

_Demonic_.

Jason fully focused on Tim, but he looked the same as he always did. Nothing was different with him.

_But his voice…_

"Jason," Tim called out again, his arm outstretched once more. "Jason, it's okay."

_It's okay?_

"Yes. It's okay." His hand touched the warm skin of Jason's shoulder. The touch was cold and dead-like, did nothing to calm the older male's nerves, but he found himself leaning into the touch. Tim pulled him back to the head of the bed and sat in front of Jason, his hands cupping the older boy's face. Blue eyes stared in blue-green, thoughts being shared and hidden away.

"I had a nightmare," Jason stated once he was able to finally calm his racing mind and heart. Tim searched his eyes and nodded solemnly.

"I know, Jason. I know…" He affectionately rubbed the skin covering Jason's cheek bone that was currently sleek with sweat. Tim leaned forward slowly and placed a soft, lingering kiss on the bridge of Jason's nose, the action earning him a puff of hot air against his throat. Pulling away, he caught Jason's eyes again which screamed with fear.

"I don't want to go back to sleep," he said.

"But you need to sleep. You _need _it."

"But I'll just have another nightmare, and I'll wake back up." Tim slid one of his hands down to Jason's neck, rubbing small circles into the junction of his neck and shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll be here," the younger male said. Jason turned his head to the side, refusing to meet Tim's gaze.

_But you aren't real_.

"Jason." A frown.

_You're practically dead to me._

Tim's eyes saddened, and he pulled the older male into a gentle hug; as if he was afraid Jason would suddenly shatter.

"_Please_," he begged. "Just… please." With a soft sigh, Jason wrapped his arms carefully around the illusion and slowly maneuvered them both under the white covers; he swore he thought the blanket was trying to strangle him, however.

He laid his head down on the pillow, Tim still clinging to him. Jason played with the dark hair, threading his fingers through the soft locks, which earned him a hum of approval. He nuzzled his face into the hair, gradually relaxing his tense muscles. Eventually, he closed his eyes and sighed.

It was as if his life was on repeat, like a routine, as in:  
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

But his was different…  
Sleep. Nightmare. Wake Up.

… _Repeat._


	3. Fregoli

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters listed below. All characters rightfully belong to DC Comics._

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_**Author's Note: **__This was requested by the wonderful crashingyourmode (on tumblr). Thank you so much for requesting, darling! ^_^ I hope this is up to par._

_So, I seriously have no idea what the heck just happened to this verse. It is still mainly JayTim, and I promise it'll go back to be solely JayTim after this, but… it's so conflicting. I don't even… I just… This is just… No, no. I don't know. It is what it is. __I blame the songs "Hole In Your Head" by PHANTOM__, __and __"Be"__ and "Kill This Love"__ both__ by Epik High. They made this verse take a turn for the worse. Seriously, I don't even know. I hope you guys don't mind the change too much, but __be __prepared for this verse to become very… dark._

_Is it bad that I absolutely adore this verse though? It's my baby. TT~TT I don't really know when I'll decide to complete it, but I hope to at least get through quite a few different disorders: both common and not. So I do hope you will all bear with me. ^^_

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_**Fregoli Delusion: **a rare disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that different people are in fact a single person who changes appearance or is in disguise. The syndrome may be related to a brain lesion and is often of a paranoid nature with the delusional person believing themselves persecuted by the person they believe is in disguise._

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**Down With the Sickness  
**_Chapter 3: Fregoli  
_((Started: November 23rd/Finished: November 24th))

His head was _killing_ him.

He swore his head was going to split open at any minute because of the pain. Nothing he did would decrease then pain, and it was driving him mad. And he couldn't see Tim anymore.

That scared him.

Was he dying? Was he getting worse? Was Tim gone forever?

Overcome by the possibilities, Jason stood from his chair quickly, but he staggered as his head throbbed painfully. His vision blurred as he wobbled out of his room and attempted to make it down the stairs. The male gripped the railing as if his life depended on it (which it probably did) and descended the stairs in an ungraceful action, stumbling and tripping down the steps. When he reached the bottom, Dick came into view.

"Oh, hey, Jason," the older male said with a grin.

"Dick," Jason said and winced as he felt a sharp pain. Dick's smile fell instantly, his expression full with concern.

"Jason? What's wrong?" The younger boy weakly reached out towards the other male.

"Make it stop…" he breathed out in a whisper before his entire body gave out; fortunately, Dick caught him before he hit the ground. Jason's eyes were slowly sliding to a close, his periphery marred with spreading black dots.

"Jason, stay awake. Jason, please, I need you to stay awake. Please…" The younger male did not obey Dick's pleas, however, as his heavy eyelids covered his blue-green eyes. Warm, firm hands shook the boy in a frantic manner, a failed attempt to rouse him.

"Jason! _Jason!_" Dick yelled, continued to shake the boy. "_Bruce!_ Get over here!" The last thing Jason heard before he was lost to the deranged confines of his subconscious was Dick's frantic yells and the loud absence of Tim.

_Tim_.

A stark white ceiling, that probably witnessed countless deaths, was the first thing Jason saw when he roused from his slumber. His ocean blue eyes roamed around his surroundings, finding the same white covering the walls and floor.

_Hospital_, his mind provided for him. He was in a hospital, no doubt. The question was, why?

Jason's eyes fell upon his right arm which had an IV inserted in his wrist. Upon closer inspection of the tag, he found out that the drip was filled with a light dose of morphine. Making an effort to keep the needle from moving, Jason carefully maneuvered himself into a sitting position, but not without difficulty. A heavy sigh left slightly parted lips, and his shoulders sagged in exhaustion.

He was confused, there was a dull ache right behind his forehead, and he was exhausted.

But worst of all, he was _alone_.

No one was in the room when he woke up, the sense of abandonment painfully clear to Jason. Not even Tim would show his face, which gave the male the knowledge that perhaps his mind was starting to betray himself even more than it already was.

"Good to see you've finally woken, Sleeping Beauty."

Or perhaps not.

Jason turned his head to his right and found Tim sitting in the chair next to his bed. The younger male sat in a relaxed position with his legs crossed and his fist supporting his head. He was _there_.

"Where were you?" Jason asked softly, his voice quiet and hoarse

"What are you talking about? I've been here the entire ti-"

"Where _were_ you?" Jason asked accusingly, angry. Tim's lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes staring at Jason blankly.

"You were sick, Jason," he answered.

"Tell me something I don't know," Jason spat out.

"That's _not_ what I meant," Tim explained. "You were _sick_. And you being _sick_ kept me from seeing you."

"Shouldn't that be the other way around?" the older boy spoke sarcastically, which resulted in a sigh from his companion.

"Whatever you want. But I just want you to know that-"

"Jason? You're awake!" Jason looked towards the door in surprise, and Tim sighed in deep irritation.

"Great, the idiot's here," Tim muttered.

_Don't start_, Jason warned in his head as he watched Dick near his bed. To his surprise, Dick sat right on the edge of the bed, not even a foot away from Jason's face. It was almost as if he knew Tim was sitting there, but he didn't.

He _couldn't_.

He tried to stay focused on Dick's thrilled expression and ignored Tim's death glares aimed at the childish man. A larger, warm hand grabbed his own, however, he noticed the younger boy's glare narrowing in on the intertwined appendages.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Jason," Dick spoke softly, and Jason only nodded. "You see, you had a really bad infection in your brain, and it caused a lesion… we were lucky to have gotten you here as early as we did." The older male stared down at their hands, his own thumb fondly rubbing circles on the soft skin of Jason's hands. "But as long as you take your medicine, this lesion should be able to heal. It's not too bad, so it can heal… You just have to take the medication…" Jason knew his words were only for Dick's own comfort, and he could see Dick was still scared as his worried his bottom lip between his teeth. A small smile formed on Dick's face, however, when the other boy squeezed his hand, and he looked up to meet those familiar ocean blue orbs.

"It's okay. I'm here," Jason said reassuringly.

A nod. "I know that now." He began to lean closer, and Jason met his lips halfway in a soft kiss.

"You know, if I was _real_, I would stab him."

_Shut up._

"It's not like you two are really even dating either, so all of this isn't even necessary."

_I _said_, shut. Up._

"Jason," Tim said. "You're supposed to be _mine_."

_You're not fucking real, Tim._

"He's deceiving you." The voice was strained, but that was the last of Tim that Jason would see for the rest of the day, leaving him with Dick.

Not that he was complaining, though, seeing as he was currently mad at Tim, but not just because of his crude behavior.

He was mad because Tim had left him.

* * *

Jason was able to leave the next day with Dick, the older of the two men practically bouncing with happiness at the fact. Tim had yet to show up.

"Come on, I think Alfred made you a little something in the kitchen," Dick said with a bright smile. Jason perked up at the statement.

"You mean… homemade sour dough bread?" he asked.

"The sourest," was his response, and Jason finally returned the smile.

"Good because I'm fucking _starving_. I can't believe they call that hospital shit food." Dick laughed heartily as he pulled Jason into the mansion and dragged him into the kitchen where they were met with the warm scent of freshly baked bread. Alfred was present, as always, with a kind, welcoming smile, in his hands was a pan of bread fresh out of the oven.

"Welcome back, Master Jason. You as well, Master Richard." Dick sat down in one of the chairs and waved his hand dismissively.

"Alf, I told you to call me Dick."

"And I told you to call me Alfred, young sir," the older man retorted, but Dick knew the butler truly didn't mind about the nickname. And Dick didn't really care about the use of his name (though it did make him feel old).

"Touché," he replied with a light smile. Alfred returned the smile before walking over to the counter to cut the bread.

Dick used his foot to push out the chair next to him, and he beckoned for Jason to take the seat to which the younger male obliged. Dick draped his arm across the back of Jason's chair and relaxed into his own. "You know, you're awfully quiet today. Are you okay?" He tried to sound nonchalant about the issue, but Jason could see through to the slight fear of something being wrong. Jason snorted.

"I'm completely fine, so don't worry your pretty little ass over nothing." Regardless of the vulgar response, Dick smiled.

"You think my ass is pretty?" Jason scoffed.

"There's no one out there who doesn't think so," the younger boy replied, and Dick shoved at his shoulder.

"There's my Jason," Dick said.

"_Mine."_ The different voice startled Jason slightly, and he found himself looking around the kitchen to locate it.

"Jason?" The expression on the older boy's face was one of confusion, and Jason struggled to keep his own face from mirroring that expression. "Everything okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Just… thought I… heard something." The sad frown Dick gave him was unsettling, because he _knew_.

"Did you hear Tim?" His voice was sad, and it instantly made Jason feel guilty. There really was no use in lying, but Jason did so anyway. Anything to get Dick to stop looking at him like he was a broken, irreparable doll; it hurt.

"No, I… I actually haven't heard from him in a while." It wasn't a complete lie, and it did help to lessen the intensity of Dick's look.

"Okay then, if you say so." Suddenly, a plate of warm, soft bread was placed before the two boys, and a warm hand landed on Jason's shoulder in a comforting gesture. He looked up to meet Alfred's old, wise eyes and his small smile.

"Thank you, Alfred," Jason spoke hoarsely, and the hand gently squeezed his shoulder.

"It is my pleasure, Master Jason. And it really is reassuring to know that you are back with the family." Before Jason could reply, the old butler was out and about, out of sight. He couldn't help but let a small huff of laughter escape his vocal chords.

"This family is a bunch of saps," Jason stated as he grabbed for a piece of bread, and Dick laughed.

"Like you're any better."

"Oh, I _know_ I'm better."

A smirk. "You keep telling yourself that."

"Oh, it's _on_."

The two messed around for a bit longer before Dick placed a small canister on the table, a prescription sticker sticking to it. Jason stared at it before adverting his gaze to the other male.

"What is this?" he asked, already knowing the answer. Dick folded his hands on top of the table and nodded toward the container.

"That is your medication for the lesion. You are to take one capsule a day for the next month. Once you finish taking the pills, you're scheduled for another check-up to see if the lesion has healed," Dick responded warily; he knew Jason didn't like to take medication because of the side effects. "Possible side effects that would bother you the most are constant lethargy and fleeting nausea." The mention of those two made Jason grimace, and Dick didn't fail to notice it. "Look, I know you hate them, but you'll only have to deal with it for a month tops. Then you'll be free from them, okay?" Jason stared at Dick while he contemplated over the idea, but rolled his eyes when he fully caught Dick's expression.

"How the hell can I say no when you look at me like _that_?" he asked.

"Look like _what_?" A smile began to reappear on Dick's face.

"Oh, you know. The one where you look like a fucking kicked puppy. I mean, come _on_."

"At least I pull it off when I try. You, on the other hand…"

"I don't think you want to finish that sentence," Jason said.

"But what if I do?" Dick teased, and the two of them threw teasing insults and threats at each other.

Jason would take the medication because Dick wants him to, so he will. He's just hoping that maybe it will also lure Tim back to him.

He missed him.

* * *

One week passed after Jason began taking his medication, and he could always be found in the living room, his bedroom, or the bathroom. He had lost most of his appetite since most of his food always refused to stay down, and he slept away most of the day as well; he felt horrible. On the bright side, however, Tim had dropped his hostile behavior and was more or less accommodating when it came to Dick.

Jason was sprawled out on his bed, the sheets of the bed tangled loosely around his legs. Lying next to him was Tim who busied himself with playing with the short strands of Jason's hair. The older male's hand was thrown over Tim's side lazily, an excuse to keep the boy close. His eyelids were heavy, and he struggled to keep them open all the way.

"I love you," Tim said while his eyes were trained on the black strands curling around his fingers. Jason grunted.

"Why so out of the blue?" he asked, his voice hoarse from the acid burning his throat. Tim didn't reply straight away which led to a lazy silence, the soft tickling sensation of the boy's fingers in Jason's hair lulling him to a slight doze.

"I'm sorry for acting out that one time," the younger male finally said, and Jason was roused from his light doze.

"Jesus Christ, Tim," he sighed. "I already forgave you _a week ago_. It's _fine_."

"I know, but I just want to make sure you know."

"Well, I do, so stop." The two boys fell into a comfortable silence until Jason could hear the faint sound of footsteps ascending the stairs. "I think Dick's coming." He felt Tim shift away slightly, getting ready to move. "You don't mind sharing?" he asked as he watched Tim's every move. He met the boy's perfect blue eyes which were calm and collected.

"Not really. I mean, as long as I get to have you for a longer time afterwards," he spoke slyly.

"Deal," Jason agreed, and he was awarded with a languid kiss.

"Then I don't mind." He disappeared from sight when there was a soft knock at the door, to which Jason answered with a quiet "come in." Not to his surprise, Dick entered holding a tray of what Jason guessed was a bowl of broth and a glass of ginger ale; his stomach churned painfully at the sight.

"Alfred said you haven't eaten today, so he wanted me to bring this to you." Jason rubbed at his eyes.

"I can't even _look_ at food right now. What's the point of eating when it won't stay down?" The older male sighed and placed the tray on the side table before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Because, Jason. It's better to eat than to not eat at all." There it was again, that face. Jason only sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"Fine, _fine_. I'll eat, but later. I'm too tired to eat right now." Dick nodded understandably at the answer, gently patting Jason's shoulder before making a move to leave; however, Jason's groggy voice stopped him. "Get in," he said while lazily holding the blankets up, gesturing for the older boy to join him. Dick couldn't help but smile before he climbed in.

"You're so cute when you're tired, Jay," he teased, and he giggled when Jason swatted blindly at him.

"Shut up," the younger boy slurred. "'m not cute." Dick, of course, thought otherwise, but he didn't voice his opinion; he only stared fondly at him.

"You're so tired these days." Jason didn't even bother opening his eyes.

"'S the medication," was his reply as he shifted closer to Dick, burrowing into his warmth.

"I'm sorry, Jay," he said softly before placing a tender kiss to his hairline. "I love you."

"I know," Jason whispered groggily before he slipped into a sleep.

_I know, and that's why I'm sorry._

Jason can't take the medication anymore.

* * *

"You are _mine_, and _mine alone_."

"I don't really think that's _your_ decision to make."

"You're right. It's _yours_, but you already declared you were _mine_, so it doesn't really matter, now does it?"

"That's not fucking fair, Tim."

"_You're _not fucking fair, Jason."

Jason began to notice the hostility within Tim grow again once he stopped taking the medication; it was a bit unnerving. Not to mention, whenever he was with either Tim or Dick, he felt like he was cheating. But that's nonsense, really, since Tim is a figment of his imagination, so he can't be cheating. Because how does one cheat on someone when the other party is their own mind? The answer is that you can't, but Jason still has that issue of guilt.

It also doesn't help that Tim is very… possessive, nowadays. Watching his every move like a hawk, barking out spiteful remarks about Dick every second he possibly can, and trying to provoke Jason in almost every sense possible. Jason just wanted it to stop.

"You know what? I'm not. I know that I'm not, so just drop all of this bullshit and leave me the fuck alone." Tim unfolded his arms that had been crossed tightly against his chest and let them rest at his side.

"Jay, you know I love you." The statement caused Jason to scoff.

"You call this love?" he asked in bitter humor.

"And you think _Dick_ feels any sort of love towards you?" Tim interrogated with a hard glare. He noticed how Jason's jaw clenched.

"That's different," was his reply.

"Damn straight it's different. He doesn't love you Jason. How could anyone love you? You're sick in the head, useless in every aspect. You can't do _anything_ by yourself; you have to be _babied_ by everyone." Tim took a step forward with every insult he relayed to Jason, every step and word causing Jason to flinch. "They don't want you around. You're only a burden to them. Surely you hear their conversations behind locked doors of how they wish you _never existed_. Admit it, you're a waste of space and _you know it_."

"_Shut the fuck up!_" Jason screamed. "_Just fucking shut up!_"

"Tell me why, Jason," Tim said, his hot breath puffing against Jason's neck. "Tell me why and I'll stop."

"Get out," Jason hissed, trying his best not to yell again. Instead of the desired response, he felt thin fingers dancing across his shoulder.

"Tell me why," Tim repeated.

"Get _out_."

"Why?"

"Because everything you said was true!" the older male yelled. "Are you fucking happy now? Now get the fuck OUT!" When he looked to where Tim was he found no one, and Jason couldn't help but let an exhausted sigh of relief escape his lips. He jumped slightly when he heard someone speaking from the doorway.

"Everything okay, Jason? I heard yelling." Jason sighed and looked up to the intruder, immediately tensing when his eyes fell on Dick.

"I thought I told you to leave," he hissed out. Dick blinked in confusion.

"What? Jay, what are you talking about? I haven't seen you hardly all day," he replied.

"Don't play stupid. I told you to leave, so why the fuck are you still here?"

"Jason," Dick started as he took a step forward, jumping when Jason yelled.

"Don't you _dare_ come near me! Just get the fuck _out_, Tim!" Dick's face fell immediately at the name, and Jason barely noticed the other boy's eyes watering.

"Tim?" he asked, his voice strained.

"Yes, Tim. That's your name, did you fucking forget?" Jason scoffed

"I'm not Tim, Jason. I'm Dick. You remember me, right?" he asked.

"Is this some kind of sick joke? You're not Dick, asshole. Now why can't you just leave me alone?" Before Dick even had the chance to reply, he was shoved harshly out of the bedroom, and the door was slammed in his face.

He wanted nothing more than to break down right there in the vacant hallway.

* * *

"Bruce, he's getting worse." Bruce looked up from his work to look at the boy.

"How so?" he questioned.

"His illusion of 'Tim' is spreading," Dick offered. "Whenever he sees me, or even Alfred, he calls us Tim and demands to know why Tim is destroying the image of us. Bruce, it's… it's worrying me. I don't think he's taking his medication either." Bruce gazed at Dick for a while before he sighed and stood from his chair.

"Let's take a trip to the hospital, shall we?" The relief that Dick expressed from hearing his suggestion worried Bruce, for it was an exhausted relief. And Dick was never one to lose his energy.

Bruce just hoped that this hospital visit could solve their problems.

"Well, there's both good news and bad news," the doctor said as he met with Bruce and Dick.

"What is it?" Dick asked cautiously, worried on how Jason was fairing.

"Well," the doctor began, "the lesion is still present in his brain when it should have nearly healed about a week ago. That suggests the idea that Jason hasn't been taking his medication like he's supposed to." Bruce and Dick exchange warily glances. "Now, all a lesion truly is, is just brain damage; however, his lesion is affecting his dopamine levels which are already high due to his schizophrenia. The effect is leaving him with Fregoli Disorder. Are either of you familiar with this case?" Both of the males shook their head in negation. "Fregoli Disorder is basically a type of paranoia. It's the delusion that every person in the world is just a single person in disguise that aims to persecute the host. From the information you have provided, Jason believes that his illusion is in disguise as all of you, and that you are trying to hurt him."

Dick released a heavy sigh, his stomach churning at the information, and Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. The fact that Jason was, indeed, getting worse held heavy in their chests.

"There is a way to cure this, however," the doctor provided, which caused the two men to perk their heads up immediately. "Fregoli, in Jason's case, was caused solely because of his lesion. Get rid of the lesion, and the disorder is gone."

Dick's face fell as he replied. "And in order to get rid of it…"

"He has to take his medication," Bruce finished, and they both hung their heads. The doctor sensed their gloom as well.

"Unfortunately, that is the case. I am very sorry that you two have to go through this. Fregoli, itself, is a very rare disorder, so it is a shame indeed." Dick nodded at the doctor, and offered a small "thank you" for his genuine support and information. They bid the doctor goodbye and waited with constricting chests outside of Jason's room.

"What do we do, Bruce? You know he won't take the medicine," Dick said dejectedly, and Bruce sighed.

"I don't know, Dick," Bruce answered honestly. "But we'll figure something out."

* * *

"Jason, wait."

_No_, Jason thought. _Not for you_. So he kept walking, but Tim persisted.

"Jason. Jason, _please_."

_I said _no.

"Jason, stop." He then felt hands grasp his shoulders, forcing him to stop, and then turned him around. He was met with pleading, sad blue eyes that made his stomach churn. He felt the hands rubbing fleeting warmth into his shoulders, and Jason cursed himself mentally when he felt himself relaxing. "Why aren't you taking your medication?" The question was blunt, no strings attached, and there was no reply.

"You need to take your medication," Dick said, his heart clenching painfully within his chest. "It will help you."

"If I take it, there's a chance that you'll disappear," Jason replied honestly, and Dick shook his head frantically.

"No, you're wrong. I won't disappear. I'll still be here." He moved his hands from Jason's shoulders to cup the boy's face.

"No, you won't," Jason said. "… because you're evil and conniving… and you're Tim." The older male choked on a sob and pulled Jason into a tight embrace. He buried his face into the cotton sleeve of Jason's shirt, efficiently dampening the soft fabric with his tears, and his silky, black hair tickled the exposed skin of Jason's neck; he could even feel his own body suffer the aftershock of Dick's trembling.

"Please, just come back to me, Jason. _Please_," he begged, his voice catching in his throat. Jason sighed before he wrapped his arms around the older boy.

"How can I come back if I never left?" he asked as he rested his cheek on top of Dick's head, and Dick tightened his hold around Jason's torso.

"But you did leave." His words were muffled by Jason's shirt, and Jason sighed.

"If you say so," he said. "If you say so." He gently drew intricate patterns across the span of the older male's back as he muttered an "It's not like you even loved me when I was there either." He could feel Dick's muscles immediately tense, the muscle becoming more defined under his fingertips.

"You think… that I don't love you?" The question was forced out as a whisper, appalled and accusing and _hurt_. When Dick pulled out of the hug to look at Jason, his visage expressed the same emotions that were provided through his tone. Jason's eyes darkened subtly as he fisted the back of Dick's shirt into his palm.

"I _know_ you don't," he corrected. Dick tightened his grip on Jason's shoulders, his nails digging into the skin uncomfortably.

"What right do you have to declare this as the truth?" Dick demanded bitterly.

"Simple," Jason answered albeit calmly. "You stated so before." The eldest male was baffled, his mouth agape as he searched for the right words.

"Jason, I-" As he began to deny such words leaving him mouth, realization dawned upon him as to where Jason had surfaced such an idea. His angry and betrayed expression altered to one of love and melancholy. "Jason, I _do _love you. I really do." He cupped Jason's neck in a tender hold as he leaned to whisper into his ear. "I love you, so let me prove it."

Jason jerked his head to the side. "No," he bit out, his voice sounding unnatural. A kiss was placed right below his ear, and he protected again. "No."

"Let me prove it to you," the other boy pleaded softly. He gently turned Jason's head so he could look at him, and then Dick allowed their lips to mold together. Jason didn't want to give in, _knew_ that he shouldn't, but the second he felt wandering fingers slither up the bare skin of his sides, he gave in.

And Jason knew that he would pay for that.

* * *

Jason immediately recalled all of the events that took place earlier when he roused from his slip. The first thing he saw was the serene face of Di- Tim as he slept. Their naked limbs were tangled together in a complex fashion, and Jason began to panic.

_Fuck. No. No, no, _no_. What did I do? __**Why did I let him win?**_

He hurriedly disentangled himself from the other boy, not caring if he caused the other to wake up; fortunately for his case, the man remained asleep. Jason left the warm confined of the bed and didn't even bother putting on his clothes for he made a beeline for the bathroom.

The shower was soon spraying out bursts of sweltering hot water, the knob labeled "cold" completely neglected. Jason sat on the shower floor under the scathing water, tearing away the skin on his arms as the water burned him an angry red. Blood began to seep through the scratches, turning pink as clear, boiling liquid washed it away. His mouth became dry from the extreme heat, but Jason didn't care. He kept scratching and cutting into his skin as he mumbled incoherently to himself, as if all strings had suddenly snapped.

"I told you he was deceiving you." The sudden voice caused every muscle in Jason's body to freeze, the sudden tightness in his body aching with blistering pain. He turned his head to the side and found Tim standing there wearing a smug expression; the fact that fear flooded Jason humiliated him, but no one needed to know about that.

"Get the fuck out of here," Jason croaked out, his voice broken and hoarse. Tim folded his arms comfortably against his chest.

"No, I don't think I will. I _warned_ you, Jason. It's only fair that you pay for that," Tim answered in a cruelly indifferent manner. And when he looked at Jason, Jason wanted nothing more than to scream.

_You tricked me. It's your fault, all your fault. Get away from me. Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't breathe on me, go away. Go away, go away, go away._

So when the younger boy began to walk closer to Jason, he started to hyperventilate, which he decided to cover up with by yelling.

"Don't you dare!" he yelled, unconsciously shrinking back to the shower wall. "Don't take another fucking step!"

"Or you'll what?" Tim inquired dauntingly, disregarding Jason's idle threats. "What can you possibly do, huh?" His touch was cold upon Jason's blistering hot skin, but it was far from being welcome.

"_DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!_" he yelled hysterically. "Just _GET OUT!_" He screamed those words over and over again, his dry throat aching from the abuse. He curled in on himself, pressing his entire body into the tiled wall, tugging and scratching and tearing at skin.

"_My god_, Jason!" He felt arms wrap around him, pulling him to a broad chest, which was unappreciated on Jason's end. He struggled in the embrace, flailing his arms around in order to push away from his offender.

"Let _go _of me! Let go, let go, _just let the fuck go!_" he bellowed. Somewhere between his words, the yells turned into hysterical sobs, and Jason opened his eyes to find Dick holding him, his clothing soaking from the scalding water; Dick would carry the burns as well.

Dick whispered soothing nothings into Jason's ear as the younger boy clung to him. But Jason wasn't crying. No, Jason doesn't _do_ crying. Never has and never will.

But Dick _knew_, and he would let it slide. Just this once.

* * *

"What the _hell_ do you want from me, Tim? You've already won the fight. What else is there left?"

"The fight has been won, but the war still stands at hand," he replied meaningfully, his icy blue eyes never leaving Jason's own pair. Jason scoffed.

"What the fuck are you talking about? You think I give a damn about a _stupid war_? You think that really matters? Is that what I am to you, a damned war? Well, you can take your fucking war and shove it!" Jason barked.

"Of course you're not a war," the illusion spoke as he leered. "You're _more_."

"You're fucking insane," he hissed out.

"Sorry, _dear_, but you fit that description better than I do." Jason provided a sneer that was met with a malicious smirk, but as the younger boy touched Jason's shoulder with his fingers in a dwindling manner, his hostility began to fade away into nothing. He stood in front of Jason and gently cupped the recently scarred skin of Jason's cheeks. "I'm doing this because I love you. You know this, right?" Jason snarled in response.

"Then your definition of 'love' is pretty fucked up in my book then." Tim's eyes saddened as his brow furrowed.

"Jay, I don't understand."

"The hell, you don't understand. Well then, that's _your _problem now, isn't it?" the older male bitterly replied. Tim's shoulders sagged in a melancholic manner as his hands fell from Jason's face.

"You need help, Jay. Listen, I know that you don't like it, but I-" Tim was interrupted when a flaring pain surfaced on his left cheek, cutting his sentence off. His eyes were wide in shock, and when he touched the sensitive skin, he felt heat emitting from the area. His watering eyes landed on Jason in both fear and surprise, the older boy's hand upraised.

Jason had slapped him.

"You do not," Jason seethed, "tell me what I do and don't need. _Do you hear me_?" Tim was too shocked to answer. "Do you hear me?" Jason repeated threateningly, but all he received in response was a strangled snivel.

The lack of a response finally caused a string to snap within Jason; a violent one.

He lunged at Tim, painfully grabbing his shoulders with an iron grip, effectively increasing Tim's current fear. He visibly cringed when Jason began yelling insults and threats at him, shrinking backwards in hope to avoid the verbal blows. That plan fell short when the blows turned physical.

Punches and kicks landed brutally on his lithe body, sending him down to the ground where Jason quickly followed to prevent the boy from escaping. Tim's nose made a sickening crunch upon impact and blood flowed down his face like a waterfall. He let out a yelp when he felt his arm snap, and his breath caught in his throat when his gut was sharply elbowed forcefully. He sputtered as blood seeped into his mouth, and he wasn't sure if it was from his nose or something else.

"You manipulated me!" Jason screamed into his face as he continued to beat his allusion. "You took everything I knew and threw it the fuck away like it was yesterday's shit! I hate you, I fucking hate you!"

Jason's verbal threats drowned out in Tim's ears as he was too focused on all of the physical blows he was receiving. Then he felt strong, rough hands enclosing tightly around his neck, and his eyes widened as he felt his windpipe close off. Tim's frantic eyes met crazed, ocean blue ones that were dark with pure hatred. He choked as he tried to inhale, his weak hand tried to pull away the ones slowly killing him.

"I don't freaking understand you _at all_," Jason hissed out. "I don't understand why you had to pick _me_, and why the hell you had to _deceive me_ to get whatever the hell it is that you fucking wanted! I hope you _go to Hell_!" His only response was the weakening of Tim's struggles before his arm fell limply against the floor and all of his movements stilled. Jason froze as he saw the blue eyes roll into the back of the boy's head. Slowly releasing his stiff hands from around the male's neck, Jason stared at the now dead boy.

But something was different.  
And then Jason became eerily still.

Tim's hair never reached the middle of his neck, and Tim was _never_ this masculine. Jason shook as he able to distinguish Tim from the others for the first time in a while, and he quickly scrambled away from the corpse.

That wasn't Tim who he killed. That wasn't Tim at all.

Jason trembled as he stared at the body that grew colder with every passing second. His eyes burned as he collapsed in on himself, hysteria engulfing him completely.

_I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. Dick, forgive me. Please, _Please_, forgive me._

It wasn't Tim. The corpse wasn't Tim. It was Dick. And Jason hated himself for that.


End file.
